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2.08.2002
as i lay there, early in the morning hours,
the sun rising over the crest of the horizon... my dog gazing upon me fondly as i masturbate, my wife bursts in, a visage of madness and fear... "you have to stop masturbating in front of the dog!" i ask her why... "why?" i ask "because when you masturbate in front of the dog... THE TERRORISTS WIN!!!" amazing how that works always remember, there are no monsters just people with demented, psycho-, sociopathic minds and horrible physical deformities... Hah! That's what I'm talking 'bout.
Hey Lance, have you seen Chandra Levy? Say her name in a deep, Dracula-like voice for wild satisfaction. Well, the secret is out. Please note that our humble, self-absorbed, free-wheeling, pornographic, surreal, serene crap is now referenced by Web superpower Joe Crawford (a painfully brilliant dude) at http://websandiego.org/bloggers/ Yayee-yay! My new favorite game here in Washinton:
Use "... because then the terrorists win." as the response to every question possible. Do you want to go get some coffee? No "... because then the terrorists win." Do you want to watch Friends tonight? No "... because then the terrorists win." You should really quit smoking heroin! No "... because then the terrorists win." (people here think I'm a monster) 2.07.2002
MARCH MADNESS UNDERWAY!!TIMMINS/BRYAN 526-2787071284-1 Itinerary: Friday, March 08 - SAN DIEGO CA(SAN) to SACRAMENTO CA(SMF) Flight 1375 M Depart SAN DIEGO CA(SAN) at 10:45AM and Arrive in SACRAMENTO CA(SMF) at 12:20PM Sunday, March 10 - SACRAMENTO CA(SMF) to SAN DIEGO CA(SAN) Flight 1994 M Depart SACRAMENTO CA(SMF) at 03:35PM and Arrive in SAN DIEGO CA(SAN) at 04:55PM KOTTONMOUTH KINGS Thank you for your order, Bryan. If you have not received your tickets within 48 hours of the event, please contact us as soon as possible. Be sure to print this page for future reference. Your Confirmation Number: 27-17700/LA1 You have purchased 2 ticket(s) for: Venue: Galaxy Theatre Location: Santa Ana, CA Date & Time: Saturday, March 02, 2002 8:00PM Your Tickets: SECTION GA, # of Tickets: 2 Total Paid: 47.50 Delivery Method: Mail 2 DRINK MINIMUM KOTTONMOUTH KINGS AT THE GALAXY CONCERT THEATRE 3503 S. HARBOR BL,SNTA ANA SAT MAR 2 2002 8:00PM You want to punk me like a baby monkey?
I'll show you disco like you've never seen You like to tear it up and critisize? (fun tacos make the money last a l o n g time) yes they do!!! forget about your troubles and get a double dip refried beans on a hickory stick you think it's funny being a faggot in a clown suit? I like to watch Magnum P.I. when I'm in the nude always use Roma tomatoes when you make bruschetta step right up and listen please you're gonna get it with the greatest of ease everybody gather round all aboard the underground you've got to get in before you get out and gettin' out is what it's gonna be about if you find that you are blind open your bashful mind let my band step inside and take you on a cosmic ride with honest sounds i'll paint your brain for in this song i do proclaim that once aboard this moving train i'll do my best to ease your pain slinky as my speech may be on this trip you'll ride for free this axis bold as love you see comes and goes so easily space is king or so i sing, subway to venus once aboard and feeling smooth like a liquid you will ooze into a state of mind that soothes aw be my quest inside my groove cause what i've got to give to you is gonna make you wiggle like a wiggley worm cause you deserve to wiggle and squirm head pounding with explosive force
things forgotten whirling through the mist... "why are we here?" "is there a purpose to life?" "where are my pants and what are you doing down there?" a warm day again where is the snow i desire in this greenhouse hell ancient chinese secret, huh? The Original Russian Material!
98% Pure Beta Ecdysterone With Methoxyisoflavone, Ipriflavone, ZMA, RNA, & B-6 for Enhanced Activity! Available in Both Capsules & Protein Powder! I'm Gumby Dammit!! 2.06.2002
I love frogs...seriously. I am now
on the Greyhound on my way to kill the boys. a pox on the murderers of aged, green amphibians...
a day of reckoning shall be had... the penguins will harshly judge those found guilty of green homicide... 2.05.2002
EDMONTON (CP) -- A 18-year-old boy had to watch in horror Saturday afternoon as the frog he had grown up with was hanged from some playground equipment by a group of teens.
"I've never dealt with anything like this before," said Const. Mike Moulds of the RCMP. "This is quite disturbing to think that people could do this." The boy was playing with his frog, Sheba, on a slide at around 2 p.m. when the teens approached. Moulds said the teens took the eight-year-old croaker from the boy and used a leash to hang it from the top of a piece of equipment. When police arrived the frog was dead. The boy's mother, who only wanted the family's first names used, told the Edmonton Journal her son David had been crying uncontrollably since the frog was killed. "There are sick kids out there and they need help and they need to come to justice," said Donna, David's mother. "They traumatized my 18-year-old son. He blames himself for this because he couldn't do anything." David told Donna that, when the boys approached, they were taunting him. David yelled for help and ran to a nearby skating rink when they hanged his frog. He found a stranger with a cellphone and said "please call my mom and dad because my frog is strangling,"' Donna said. HITLER (in a French maid's outfit), is being brought in by Jimmy. They head towards the closet. Inside the closet is a crate of pineapples. Hitler picks out a relatively small one. Dad shakes his head "no." Dad walks over to the closet. Hitler picks out a really big pineapple. Dad nods "yes." Hitler sadly hands it to Dad. Jimmy bends Hitler over and as Dad raises the fruit... CLOSE ON HITLER'S EYES As the pineapple's jammed up his ass. HITLER Holy schnit!! LUCIFER (CONT'D)
You know what was in Hell when I came down here, Cassius? GATEKEEPER It's Stanley, sir. LUCIFER Nothing. No mountains. No castles. Looked like a giant parking lot. It wasn't even called Hell. GATEKEEPER What was it called, sir. LUCIFER Boogerland! GATEKEEPER That's nice, Grandpa. Why don't you just enjoy the fishing? LUCIFER I can't enjoy anything. I go fishing. I catch nothing. I go to orgies, I catch everything... We hear the Monster laughing again as we PAN DOWN Grandpa's fishing line to: Lance,
This ain't no CHAT ROOM! It's a diary of sorts, where you can post anything... and soon, post any photos (except X-rated; those you link to, otherwise we break they rules). A good day that exhibits the diversity is in the archives at --HERE-- Thing is...we gettin' hits already. A major web genius that moderates the largest discussion board in San Diego had this to say the other day: "Scary." TYHI! ahhh, lance cairo enters the fray...
i have discovered something grand... THIS is it... what else can you get with a dollar these days? not LT's autograph... -kurt Nobody to introduce myself to right now, I guess, but you should go here to see what I would call the funniest thing I've seen online in a while. This is not just entertaining, it's inspirational.
http://www.somethingawful.com/features/childrensbooks/index-02.htm And this is bonus PSA... remember, Just Don't Shake! http://www.dontshake.com/products/rock.html Here I am, ready to be wined and dined like I was back in G-town, and no one's around! Ah, well...
Ahhhh... I think I finally made it. Ready to get biz-zeh in this new hi-zizous.
lou
drop me a line with your e-mail addy 23 ain't workin' no more... kurt lance likes to keep it on the d-lo...
doesn't surf much... nice GN'R reference... losers they may be but at least they left the third ring of hell... having never visited so-cal i feel i can make these accusations with complete knowledge of my superiority... 2.04.2002
Pro Blogger Coming Soon...
"isn't just getting there impressive?"
YES. Even LOSERS deserve some credit. E-Z Fellasteen , this is a 'G' thing.
Yo dizawg! Where be dat dawg Lance Cairo, friend to Guantanamo nymphos and his Joint tasked force, creeping crabs on streets and heat, Jamaican chicken keepers keepin' it real Dawg, Oh, the Rams lost. Ray Finkle...NOT! Shivering at the sight of Joker, caps zipped in red-pink cotton nanny-tomb. Tonight, I saw a dead body under a white blanket at an intersection near my gym...afterwards, i scored at the seconds rack nice jeans, shirt, and 2 pair barbed wire thongs by Sean John. "Mo' money, mo' problems." Hmph, no wonder Whitey keeps oppressin'. It's so Easy I see your sister in her Sunday dress She's out to please She pouts her best She's out to take No need to try She's ready to make It's so easy, easy When everybody's tryin' to please me, baby It's so easy, easy When everybody's tryin' to please me Cars are crashin' every night I drink n' drive everything's in sight I make the fire But I miss the firefight I hit the bull's eye every night It's so easy, easy When everybody's tryin' to please me, baby Yeah it's so easy, easy When everybody's tryin' to please me So easy But nothin' seems to please me It all fits so right When I fade into the night See me hit you You fall down I see you standin' there You think you're so cool Why don't you just Fuck off Ya get nothin' for nothin' If that's what you do Turn around bitch I got a use for you Besides you ain't got nothin' better to do And I'm bored It's so easy, easy When everybody's tryin' to please me, baby It's so easy, easy When everybody's tryin' to please me So easy But nothin' seems to please me It all fits so right When I fade into the night So come with me Don't ask me where cause I don't know I'll try to please you I ain't got no money But it goes to show It's so easy censorship is the devil...
Easy fella, this is a G-rated Blog.
and the sheep are led to slaughter...
the point spread mocking me like an unfulfilled whore... CURSE YOU KURT WARNER! "does it matter that you didn't win the Super Bowl?" "isn't just getting there impressive?" "let me ask YOU a question you non-football-playing cunt... is it okay when your husband pulls his COCK out just before you CUM and shoots on your face leaving you wanting and hollow while he turns over and sleeps the sleep of the mighty?" "didn't think so..." 2.03.2002
Boy oh Boy...need I say more?
Yee haaa! Boy KURT, your KURT ain't impressing me much!!
Can't believe they had to think about that high catch!! Damn this rum is good. Sun setting on the border county... Yay!! Kurt's QB Warner likey throw to Patriot! Yeah he do!
Tripe port vine cling trap red plum migrate tram kite.
Pillar sweet revival treat chair. Can you believe this pre-bowl prelude? We are sticky with Dominican and Sheep Tostada
on the balcony overlooking North Island and Pt. Loma with fish grilling and libres swilling. |
