"They say you only live once.

Well, if you live like me baby,
once is enough."

- Frank Sinatra

by lou dallas | 21:05

rum spooge crispy

by lou dallas | 21:03

polo troupe dog nut

by lou dallas | 20:57

by lou dallas | 20:56

103-90
Kings

by lenny bellows | 20:50

hey kids! it's time for uncle skippy's fun time!



just in time for christmas
for the tot who has EVERYTHING!!!

by Kurt | 20:14

"Do not trust the horse, Trojans! Whatever it is, I fear the Greeks, even though they bring gifts."
-Virgil, The Aeneid

by lenny bellows | 20:05

TIPPER GORE: Well, I think the reason they haven't or they might be reluctant, and it's a false reason, it's one that I would hope to disavow them of, but they may feel that they're going to be labeled or stigmatized if they seek help. And that's one of the problems that we've always had with wookie drug addicts.

CHRIS WEBBER: Hey, I play basketball against a wookie. He even smells like a rotten, wet shaq carpet.

by lenny bellows | 19:51

in the valley of the skinny,
the fat alcoholic will lead them



blessed be the chubby drinkers...

by Kurt | 19:45

well how about posting to your fucking wax italy you spastic gerbil expert
said lou cautiously

kurt replies with a glint in his eye...

"because dean martin is chewing up my fucking couch
and the shortbus is waiting..."

by Kurt | 19:23

nghghghghggngghgnghg ghg ghng gghg ghng ghgnghgnghgnghggn!!

by lou dallas | 18:54

femurs are present in sufficient
quantity to
BASH SHAQ over the head
--- Vlade may flop sometimes, but Shaq
throws his monstrous weight and elbows about
like a drug-crazed wookie. He gets more breaks from the refs
in their not wanting to use the rule book than any other player
in the league. Good Must Defeat Evil. The Lakers must lose!

by lenny bellows | 15:28

by lou dallas | 08:44

It is a place called Panikin's in the
Point Loma area of San Diego. It is
inside next to the counter where
cappuchino and the like is sold.
It is also next door to a large
bookstore. Always interesting
people there (when open)
(619) 225-8031

Added by Lenny Bellows


by lou dallas | 19:52

Vlade indeed flops, but Shaq bulldozes. Both insist they're innocent, but both have admitted such practices in the past. Both will likewise keep doing what they do, but every three-man ref crew is bound to call things differently, thereby keeping flops on our radar at the expense of other pertinent issues, like Kobe's uncooperative stomach and Peja Stojakovic's bad ankle.



by lou dallas | 19:50

You're famous

by lou dallas | 18:42

grab your groin on the mountain peak,
stare into the shadows in the forest below



music is always happening
when you

L I S T E N

by lou dallas | 18:23

Wait, er... GAY!!!

by lenny bellows | 17:49

What a waste of an adjective.

by lou dallas | 16:42

LAUGHING TONITE

by lou dallas | 18:19

Begging at Satan's Place

Washing down vitamin 6 with Cola -- itchy trigger mutants
teem in the Valley of Schogk.

Beetle-driving bull dykes laugh hysterically
at Johnny Carson.

Bile reflux disease is attributed to cream wave,
especially girl-field ion fulfiller korn.

Spandex and vodka -- black light special.
lou dallas Time: 20:58


by lou dallas | 18:16

So yeah, i rode my MTB over to sporting goods stoore
and bought some water bottles and shades, where/when i must have
bumped my cell phone which was in my fanny pack. I get outside to my bike
and go to take my phone out -- and there's a damn "ongoing call 4:35" display,
which i sadly blew off as junk spew, because my first # on autodial is my voice mail;
so, the phone keypad needed a special sequence of #'s to hit the "call lenny".
to think i could have begun speaking and been blown away! instead i went shredding
through slope street circus of God lomas. new track from fire cut
seething graveyard bluffs.

snake charmers on crack for Mohammed work in mysterious ways.

by lou dallas | 21:19

So, like I get home early after my final...about 7PM --- a few minutes
later, gettin' a little soft in the gravity, when the
phone rings. "I'll let the machine pick it up," I think to
myself. When there is a sudden crackling, paper sound
coming from the speaker. Oh, it is one of those wacky friends
of mine! Must be Jesse de Poland or Lou Dallas. Ha Ha, you
so funny :-******
Anyway, since I hear no voices at this point, I begin a strange
pretend conversation, assuming there is someone listening on the
other end. Very surreal. The crackling sound stops, then starts, then
stops again. I hear two voices, Lou Dallas and an unnamed male, not Jesse de Poland.
"He doesn't know he called me," I muse. Funny. So I listen to conversation
for about five minutes until the phone is clicked off.
That Lou Dallas, he sure is a hung up!!!


by lenny bellows | 19:44

Dude, I'm getting a Dell!

I feel kind of bad about ordering my new computer on line. I think
I hurt my present computers feelings. Oh shit, she can see what
I'm writing now. Oh. Uhhhh, yeah so, like...

sorry, but for about$1030.00 after shipping:
DIMENSION 4400,P4,1.7GHZ,MMT,PREMIUM
256MB DDR SDRAM AT 266MHZ,TIED
DELL QUIETKEY KEYBOARD,104,ENGLISH,TIED
17 IN (16.0 IN VIEWABLE,.27DP)E771,DIM
16MB ATI RAGE ULTRA 4X AGP VIDEO,FACT
40GB ATA-100 7200 RPM,TIED
24X/10X/40X CD-RW DRIVE,DIM01,TIED
HARMON KARDON HK-395,SPKR,MG,DIM,TIED
+ a free printer --- not the greatest system in the world, but pretty
darn good for the price.



by lenny bellows | 19:37

...streams of go
running
down my pockets
into
pantlegs for
shanty town studies

gone bad.

by lou dallas | 17:46

When you first decide to collect semen from a dog, you can expect the collection center to require a full medical history and physical for the animal. A common and often unnoticed problem with dogs is testicular tumors that negatively impact the animal’s ability to produce sperm. Also, a number of drugs, especially those in the steroid family, adversely affect sperm counts. Fees for the physical and collection of sperm average $75.

There are two aspects of sperm that have a direct bearing on a dog’s potency: sperm count and the motility of the sperm. It is estimated that it takes 100 million sperm to successfully breed a bitch. There are approximately 1 billion sperm in the 1cc of sperm-rich ejaculate an average pointing dog in prime condition produces. A dog’s ejaculation consists of three parts: the first and last thirds are primarily fluid, while the middle third contains almost all of the sperm. If your dog passes the physical examination, semen collection will take place, and the clinic will perform a sperm count. If adequate numbers of sperm are present, the laboratory technician will then check the motility of the sperm.



by lou dallas | 14:08

Your book sounds like a winner! I'm on the phone to Oprah now!

by lou dallas | 11:25

Dear Mr. Dallas,

I came across your reviews on Amazon, and I was wondering if I could interest you in reviewing my novel.

The novel's underlying current reinforces that dope conquers all - sometimes in unexpected ways. The following is the book's back-cover synopsis:

The year is 2004. Smoggy L.A., California, basks in many uncertainties.

Two pet mutilation investigations and a love affair, between a Canadian greenery dealer and a Jewish-American college student from Boise, unravel mysteries of motive and perception borne from the Middle West's violent past.

Tonto Turnburtle's first murder case, after accepting a "drug procurement" position under the Chief Public Prosecutor for Violent Crimes, pits him against a familiar apparition charged with sheltering a young boy in a coastal city off the Mediterranean. Back in a Dallas, Texas, suburban mall, a shooting spree by a Uruguayan further entangles Turnburtle in a dilemma between loyalty to his office and faithfulness to his conscience. Meanwhile, a romance with English poetry introduces Turnburtle to Willy Lompoc.

Laced with a-political discourse in an unfamiliar environment of peace treatises between Idaho and its neighboring states, climaxes with tragic consequences softened by a lovers' journey to physical self-discovery.
Ten words I'd use to describe Idaho: Who are the true patriots of the panhandle potlatch society?

I'd asked the publisher to categorize my novel as political fiction, mystery, and romance, humor, science fiction, drug literature alluding to the novel's major plots, sub-plots, paragraphs, and various words that are described very briefly by the back-cover synopsis. But the novel is not merely a work of fiction. Non-fiction subjects explored in the context of the novel's story include the plight of the Drug War refugees, US media portrayal of backwoods tree dwellers and its general effect on US citizens' perceptions, Jewish American reading about their place in the Middle East, and the intricacies of everyday relationships between people of different points-of-view.

Readers of Let Me Have Another Hit will also be presented with discussions on women's rights, sexuality, social issues, bank heist stories, loan information, and marijuana recipes for desserts. I wrote this book with the goal of satisfying a reader's appetite for an intellectual discourse through a story about love in a violent world full of mysterious, random, violence and some suspense.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Lenny Bellows, Author
Let Me Have Another Hit



by lenny bellows | 20:31

Same here and you can probably count on another month (especially for those suckers like me that paid for "PRO")...before anyone gives a damn...because what kids? BLOGGER CUSTOMER SERVICE IS THE WORST EVER! yay!
– lou dallas [5/19/2002 10:52 AM]

Lou ... just a small point of disagreement with your statement ... "BLOGGER CUSTOMER SERVICE IS THE WORST EVER!"

Something has to *EXIST* before it can be judged.
– Terry Sedgwick [5/19/2002 11:20 PM]

by lou dallas | 16:08

kurt bali's greatest hits
number 1 with a bullet

just like robert blake

by Kurt | 05:55

by lou dallas | 13:11